Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Apologies

Lately I have been thinking of people I have wronged....I feel that there is a list that grows every so often, and I haven't done enough to manage it. I have people on this list from 1986(the year of my birth), 1993, 1995(you know who you are), parts of 1999(pre y2k, it was a crazy time for everyone), but the brunt of the apologies will come between the years of 2001-2005( yes, those are my high school years). I realize that this takes a lot of humility on my part, but I am issuing a statement to all those I feel I need to apologize to from high school.
Here is the list (all names have been changed due to privacy issues):
slippy, michael jordan, starfox, angelo, darcy, ken kesey, naploeon bonaparte, adolphus gustaves, michael mcclain, benny, D-money, toad, deron, Samuel L. Jackson, and Oluada Equino.
I apologize if I missed anybody!
The main purpose of this week's blog is to actually bring to light something I did when I was 14, and that I actually really regret.
We were having a youth activity ( that's why i regret it so much!) and we went to the driving range together. Some poor unlucky man probably in his mid 60's happened to be dirving next to myself and Tyler Wells. Trying to be funny and be apart of the teacher's quorum, I started casual saying stuff about this man; not to his face, but in the opposite direction. I unfortunately said things like "wow, i wish i had gay golf shoes on" and "wow, that's a great hawaii hat, i wish i was from hawaii". Now this next part is not exaggeratted at all, it is the complete truth. When he heard me say what i did, he said, " gay? I'll show him GAY (as he took a massive hack at his ball, hitting it not far at all). Then he grabbed his clubs and drove off in his truck screaming a racial slur at me out his window.....i'm debating writing it, no......i shouldn't. (yes, it was VERY funny at the time). On the surface I laughed, but deep down i felt HORRIBLE, and I STILL DO.
anyways, i know that my apologies were not the most sincere at the top, but this apology is very sincere. If i could take it back, I would! but i can't, so i just have to live with it.
To help me cope with it better, i will issue a formal apology in the form of a poem to my beloved racial friend.

Dear Friend
a poem in apology form by Jona Ashcroft

Dear friend
forgive me
I wronged you
that day i called you gay

Dear Friend
I forgive you
You were right,
when you stated i was mixed american

Dear friend,
can we not join together?
were we both in the wrong?
I look forward to an embrace

Dear friend
who cares that your gay
who cares i'm asain
golf will be our catalyst, and oh the fun we will have!

Dear Friend
If you could only hear me
If you could only see me
and know...that i am sorry

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