Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What's your name? Sub-par at best...

this is sort of a catchup blog. So the two people that probably read this blog will now have twice the excitement, twice the amount of tears, and twice the reason to think I'm lame.
This week I was thinking about cool names that people have, and consequences associated with their names. Someone that has a cool name will hear their name being said to them at least 4x the amount of a normal name, or even a sub-par name (i'm trying to think of an example, let's say....Mace, sub-par at best)
let me show you....

" Dendrigold, were you able to get a hold of Percy, Dendrigold? Dendrigold, you are so charming sometimes, Dendrigold. yes you are Dendrigold."

See! notice that because this person has an awesome name like Dendrigold, the name was said at least 4x the normal amount.
okay, now look at the same sentence with a different name.

"Walter, were you able to get a hold of Percy? Seriously, you're way lame. If I had it my way, you would die at sea. That's right, either de-hydration or shark attack. Never talk to me again."

I didn't think the experiment would work this well, but causality has been established from the results. Notice that the name Dendrigold was said 5 times, and Walter only once. My math my be off, but that is approximately 10 times more! I should also note that whoever was speaking to Dendrigold, was at least 5 times nicer to him than he was to Walter ( he had good reason though, who wants to talk to a Walter? not me). In conclusion, a name can go a long way. You will have more confidence and will be better liked by your peers.

Here's a poem, just because...

What if my girlfriend had a whip for an arm?
(dedicated to Tyler Owens)
a poem by Jona Ashcroft

What if my girlfriend had a whip for an arm?
How funny would that be?
Would it hurt me, or cause me harm?
Would I trip, and not be able to see?

What if my friend had a hammer for a foot?
Then would you be impressed?
Think of if he kicked you, man would that hurt (said in a british accent, so it rhymes)?
There would be nails everywhere, would he be obsessed?

What if your mom had a can opener hand?
Would anyone go hungry again?
Apricots, pumpkin filling, even cans that are banned?
You'd be her biggest fan?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nature the Beautiful

I must apologize, you would think that blogging would get easier, but it doesn't. This week's blog is a tribute to the great out-doors. I am about to scream something to nature, but you can re-insert any melodious phrase that celebrates nature, that you would like.

" NATURE, the BEAUTY that we behold is thee!"

Other phrases that might have worked as well are:
" ohhHHHHHHH NAAAATTUUREEE, naw naw naw, naw naw naw, NATURE!"
"nature can you hear me, listen to me, i love you, and i will love you forever"
"why do u treat me like this nature? giving and giving, and never taking.....why do u do that for me?"
"why do u always let that tree from the giving tree represent you? I elect a pronghorn to be your representative, so fluid and beautiful, nature and pronghorns are both elegant"

I think any nature tribute needs some sort of quote from the most famous nature movie of all time, FERN GULLY!

Zak: What happened to me? I'm... I'm three inches tall!
Crysta: I shrank you.
Zak: You what?
Crysta: It was the most amazing thing. 'Course, it's not what the spell was supposed to do, but Magi Lune can change you back to normal.
Zak: You... you shrank me?
Crysta: Yeah.
Batty Koda: Catches on quick, doesn't he?

Lovely Nature
A poem by Jona Ashcroft

the wind blows sweetly on my face
I choose you, over a pillow with lace
The water touches my nimble foot
I stand by the tree that will become a pile of soot

the leaves that fall nestle and tickle my nose
Soon there will be no where to land, for the prideful crows
the lily pad reflection shines from a distance
The once strong sunflower, cries from its loss of prominence

Nature nature, please don't cry
But don't look at my single tear
Will i be given the chance to say good bye?
blossom again, this will be your year

Monday, February 9, 2009

White man will come as the stars in the sky...

wow, my blog is a little late this week. If i had to rank myself as a "blogger" i would say i am moderate. which would convert to about a B on a conversion chart, or 5.67 if you are looking at a chart being converted from Japanese. Out of all the things I suddenly want to mention, the most important has to be that I watched "Dances with Wolves" on cable television the other day. Is there a better movie? I think not. I mention that I saw it, with a voice of warning to the two people that probably read this blog. Don't start watching it unless you are prepared to give 3 hours of your life to a story about love, tragedy, happiness, calamity, Native American aggression, and a profound respect for nature. I fell victim...(why did they have to kill two socks at the end, but because I took a film class last semester I have an answer; it was a symbolic meaning of the Indian way of life dying. I asked that question as a hypothetical question if you didn't catch on quickly). No poem this week, instead I'm going to give you a topic to ponder about the movie 'Dances with Wolves'.

What will become of "stands with a fist"?? Will she successfully integrate into society? Write your thoughts on paper and give it to someone you care about.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Complaints, and a red nose

well i am now partaking in my weekly blog writing, which i will still point out, is a burden...but i still do enjoy it to a reasonable point. I have been studying grammer for a couple hours so this blog will either be extremely primped to the likings of a writer, or it will be the complete opposite in spite. I'll admit that I'm trying to make it look as pretty as I can, but ill use the excuse of 'spite' just because I put it in as a defensive technique. Because I am in a complaining mood, i will take a few minutes to complain about things that have either been on my mind, or that will enter my mind as I begin the complaining process. I'm sick, the cardinals lost, people that talk while a professor is speaking/teaching, lamo girls, people that tap or kick the back of your chair, I've blown my nose like 30 times today, my finger is still broken, I get cold at night sometimes. There, I complained. I honestly thought I would be able to complain for a lot longer than that but once I started listing things, I could only think of how much i loved ibuprofen....weird.

Here's a poem just because...

My Nose is Red
a poem by Jona Ashcroft

My nose is red
that's what i said
my nose is red

My nose is red
It blows my head
my nose is red

My nose is red
Don't ruin my cred
my nose is red

My rose is red
My dad's name is ted
what a lame poem...